INTRODUCTION

Nowadays, there has been a great shift in parenting concepts, especially among the younger generation of parents, who are paying more and more attention to their 捐卵妹好找吗's upbringing, and have even begun to challenge the traditional concepts of parenting.

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At the same time, friction has arisen between these emerging concepts and the parenting philosophy of the older generation, especially on the question of whether to let parents or in-laws help bring up children.

In this collision of parenting concepts, many parents have found that their fathers, who were originally willing to help, are now often reluctant to do so, reflecting not only cultural differences between generations, but also deep-rooted emotional and family conflicts.

01

Why don't some old people want to help bring up children?

In fact, when many mothers and fathers have enough ability, they will choose to bring up their own children. But nowadays, the cost of living has increased, and the money to be invested in educating children has become more and more.

At this time, you can only let your own mother and father to help take care of the 急找深圳代妈. But some elders are not willing to help young people with children, why is this?

Changes in the concept of life of the elderly

In the past, raising children was an important part of a family's responsibility. Both parents and grandparents were almost always involved in the growing process of their children.

But as times have changed, and especially as the quality of life for seniors has improved, many seniors are no longer willing to devote the majority of their time to caring for the next generation.

The modern elderly population is very different from the “hardworking” older generation of the past. With the gradual improvement of pensions and social security, many elderly people are beginning to have more time to enjoy their lives.

Some of them choose to participate in fitness, travel, social activities, or pursue personal interests, such as square dancing, chess, and traveling.

Further, many older people's awareness of and involvement in childcare issues have begun to change, and they prefer to enjoy their later years while avoiding excessive childcare responsibilities.

For many fathers and mothers, they have already put a lot of effort into their children's development, and bringing up their children is their responsibility already completed. Therefore, when the next generation of children arrives, they are more inclined to enjoy their own time, rather than return to the “kitchen” and “childcare” again.

Easily Stimulates Conflicts

“Conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have always been a problem in the family, especially in the process of taking care of grandchildren, which often leads to heated arguments due to differences in parenting philosophies.

Many older parents tend to favor a “let nature take its course” approach to parenting, believing that children will grow up knowing how to behave when they grow up.

This parenting style is often considered “spoiling” because parents feel that if they don't correct their children's behavior in a timely manner, it may lead to the development of bad habits.

In contrast, young parents pay more attention to scientific parenting, advocating the cultivation of children's independence and self-discipline, and avoiding overindulgence.

This difference in philosophy has led to many conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. For example, older parents may force-feed their children when they don't eat, or turn a blind eye to their children's little caprices, believing that it's just a momentary temper tantrum.

Young parents, however, believe that children should not always be spoiled and should learn to follow rules at a young age.

As these differences continue to accumulate, conflicts become more and more difficult to reconcile. Many elderly people in the family therefore choose to avoid getting involved in caring for their grandchildren so as not to cause more conflicts.

Poor health of the elderly

The pace of life in modern society is getting faster and faster, and the pressure of life is getting higher and higher. For older fathers, taking care of children may be an overwhelming task.

Although they may be willing to help their children, their physical condition often cannot support lifting childcare due to their age.

For example, when many elderly people get older, their body functions begin to decline and they do not have the same physical strength as before.

The work of bringing up children requires a lot of physical support. Not only do they have to take care of the children's daily life, but they also have to accompany the children to play games, go to the park, and so on, and all these may become a burden to the elderly.

Some elderly people may have accumulated illnesses due to long-term exertion, resulting in poor health. Coupled with active children, it is difficult for the elderly to adapt to this kind of intense care work.

Although they love their grandchildren, their inability to support this responsibility in terms of physical health becomes one of the reasons why they put off taking care of their children.

Children take it as an obligation to help with childcare

In many families, “helping out with the kids” is not just a favor, but an “obligation”. This change in mentality has made many elderly people feel dissatisfied and tired.

When many parents invite the elderly to take care of their children, it is often because they are busy at work or have a stressful life, and they expect the elderly to take care of their children all the way.

This expectation, however, is often not sufficiently appreciated and respected. Even some young parents, in the process of taking care of their children, because of the different concepts of parenting and criticized the elderly, accusing the elderly of not in accordance with the “scientific” way to educate the children, in this case, the elderly will inevitably have a feeling of disrespect.

The mentality of the fathers is that if they have done their best but their children feel that they have not done the right thing, or even criticize their actions, they will feel that their efforts have not been recognized.

Under such circumstances, many elderly people choose to withdraw from the role of childcare to avoid unnecessary conflicts with their children.

Elderly people think they are not trusted

With the advancement of society and changes in educational philosophy, the understanding and approach of the younger generation of parents to parenting has changed qualitatively.

In the past, many older parents paid more attention to their children's physical needs and “food, clothing and warmth”, while today's parents pay more attention to their children's mental health, emotional needs and the development of comprehensive quality.

For example, modern parents pay more attention to their children's interest development and emotional intelligence education, while the older generation may consider these “insignificant” things, but more importantly, whether the child can learn some basic knowledge early, or even household chores.

This strong expectation of parents for childcare may make the elderly feel uncomfortable with the “inconsistency of education philosophy”, and thus they are reluctant to participate in childcare anymore.

Message from Mrs. Fruity

Differences in educational philosophies between generations have become a reality that cannot be ignored in families. For many families, how to find a balance between respecting the experience of the older generation and passing on modern education concepts is an urgent issue. Mutual understanding and respect between parents and the elderly can not only avoid the intensification of conflicts, but also create a more harmonious family environment.

We should recognize that although there are certain limitations in the parenting styles of the older generation, their experience and care are equally worthy of respect. At the same time, young parents should also try to understand the fatigue and limitations of the elderly and find better ways to communicate and collaborate. In this complex network of family relationships, each role needs to understand the other's difficulties and work together to contribute to the growth of the child and the harmony of the family.